Jokes reveal Mubarak's true legacy

RUMORS FLOURISH in countries with little press freedom, and the more fanciful and unbelievable, the better. But rumors are – in most cases - greatly exaggerated at best and not true at all in most cases.

In societies with heavy censorship, it is the jokes about those in power that are much more important sources of information. Jokes portray the public's perception of a leader - and even an entire regime - with no makeup, and they offer glimpses of real truth about a country and its culture in a very blunt and revealing way.

In the days before and after "the Egyptian revolution", the web came alive with jokes and funny stories about Muhammad Hosni Mubarak, who until last week had ruled Egypt for the past 30 years.

"Do you want to know what a perfect day for president Mubarak looks like?" one old Egyptian joke begins. "It's a day when absolutely nothing happens."

During the past few days the name Mubarak (originally meaning “blessed”) has become a new word in the Arabic dictionary: Mubarak (n.): "a psychotic ex-girlfriend who fails to understand it's over." Or, as a verb: Mubarak (v.): To stick something, as in "I will beat you and mubarak you to the wall."

Such jokes offer an unflattering portrait of the long-time ruler, while the flattering words about the president were always abundantly present in the media through most of Mubarak's years in office.

The jokes are direct rebukes, and they stand out in Egyptian culture where criticism often is hidden or played down.

"Under Nasser, it was the elite whose property he had nationalized that told jokes about the president," goes the set up for another popular zinger. "Under Sadat, it was the poor people left behind by economic liberalization who told the jokes. But under Mubarak, everyone is telling jokes."

Mubarak's reputation for stupidity is a frequent target of many jokes. According to one story, the reason Mubarak didn't have a vice president is that he couldn't find a single person in the country dumber than he was.

Mubarak's record for being re-elected again and again with an unbelievably high percentage of votes was also a rich source of humor and enormous frustration. One prominent Norwegian Editor in Chief told how he went around in Cairo during election day in the early 80s and simply signed his name before casting his vote for Mubarak again and again.

Prior to the referendum granting Mubarak his third presidential term, this story made the rounds:

U.S. President Bill Clinton presented Mubarak with a monkey saying: “I’ll double your aid program if you make this monkey laugh and cry.”

Mubarak promptly whispered something in the monkey's ear, and the monkey erupted in laughter. Mubarak whispered again, and the monkey burst into tears.

“How on earth did you do that?” Clinton asked.

"I first told him that I am president,” Mubarak said. "And after the monkey stopped laughing, I told him that I am trying for a third term.”

Jokes do point to the harsh reality for millions of Egyptians living in overpopulated cities with bad air, sky-rocketing unemployment rates, horrible public-education systems for their children, and rampant corruption and bribery.

Given those conditions, it is no wonder this cutting story about Mubarak on a plane ride with his wife and son got so popular: